Marvelous Millennials and Buyers Beware

A post from my mother Susan Brust - someone very intimate with Millennials as she has raised three of them. She is one of my heroes, and here provides some wonderful insight from the outside looking in on our generational mindset.

I want to begin by thanking the many writers who have already contributed to this millennial blog. You’ve provided readers with a glimpse into the hearts and minds of this next great generation. Unlike most who have contributed I’m not a millennial, but as the parent to three I recognize some commonalities of thought amongst my children and the many other remarkable young people they’ve brought into our lives and home over the years.

Although you millennials have grown up in different times and are the products of the technological age, it’s been heartening to learn what inspires you and makes you tick—what disenchants you and concerns you—because at the core these are the same things that those who came before you experienced while in their twenties (and late teens and early thirties since that is the current millennial span). I’m not saying I understand who you are or imply that I’ve heard it all before. No, this is your time and the individual path you’re charting is unique and yours alone. But we all share a common humanity and bond, don’t we? I empathize with you and relate to you because I’ve struggled and felt strongly about things too.

Thirty years ago I was concerned about my place in the world and what I could do to make it a better place during my lifetime. You’re also worried about what to do in life and how to make an impact, as well as things like jobs, where to live, student loans, relationships, being socially responsible, and treading lightly on the earth. Never forget that each and every one of you has what it takes to change the world around you and as a collective group of 75-80 million (depending on who’s counting) you can and will ROCK THE WORLD!

I observe and have read that millennials are an optimistic group. That counts for a lot! You are members of the most educated generation too, and with the technology our world now possesses you literally have the world’s knowledge, and the ability to communicate with others in numbers large or small, at your fingertips. You are a compassionate group that’s supports diversity, fairness and giving back. “Even despite a poor economy, millennials strive to give back to society. 81 percent have donated money, goods or services, reports a study by Walden University and Harriss Interactive. [You] strive to support causes that align with [your] values and personal belief system.” You have a need to touch others and make an impact, regardless of the career you choose or your job title. I will tell you what I told a group of high schoolers when I addressed them and their parents in 2007 when my daughter Kelsie was graduating. I said, “The future is in your hands and that’s a good thing. You’re an incredibly bright, brave, talented and compassionate group. You’ll go on to become solid citizens of the world and do your part to make it a better place.” I really believe this.

I want to caution you though. The baby boomers (I’m not one technically, but I’m close enough) will be remembered for ending a world war, ushering in an age of health and prosperity, creating incredibly great music, and more. On the flip side they are known for being self-absorbed, self-indulgent, and wasteful super consumers of goods, services, resources, etc. Every attribute of our generation seems to have an opposing counter-balance—there’s always interplay of positive vs. negative, good vs. bad, helpful vs. harmful. The same will be true for you.

One simple example of this is your generation’s well-known preference for convenience and instant gratification (of course, you are not alone in this). You order things on Amazon and they are delivered to your door a day or two later. It’s really great and we all love this speed and convenience, don’t we? But we must not forget that all those individually wrapped and couriered boxes come with a flip side-- a price to the environment and the world. It’s the price of cardboard, labels, shipping papers, warehouses that are heated, cooled and lighted, packaging material, fuel for the planes and trucks that speed the goods to our door, etc.

Here’s another thing to watch. You embrace technology even more than the rest of us. Have you ever wondered where all the outdated computers, monitors, printers and cell phones are going? It’s so exciting to have the latest and greatest technology, but what in the world happens to the things we replace every year or two as devices evolve—not to mention the mailing cartons they come in? There must be mountains of circuitry, plastic and cords piling up somewhere. Yikes!

Likewise, most millennials have a love for bargains. “Nearly 9 in 10 millennials ticked ‘has lowest prices’ as a key retailer attribute when choosing where to shop…. 87% listed an item’s price as a key factor when deciding what to buy.” This focus on low cost often translates into buying goods that were not sourced locally, but rather brought to you from across the world. There’s an impact when these inexpensive goods prove to be of inferior quality and must be discarded and replaced after a few wearings or uses. What happens to all the sad looking clothes and shoes we discard? Millennial bargain buyers beware! Remember that your buying decisions have far greater impact than you think. Perhaps spending more for something that’s made locally and lasts longer (an old notion) will prove better in the end. But that’s for you to decide.

One of the greatest generations in history—yours-- is poised to reshape our world as you come into your time of influence and prime spending years. By 2020, according to a Brookings Institution analysis, 1 in 3 adults will be a millennial. By 2025 you will represent 75% of the global workforce, according to “Forbes.” You are about to overwhelm the world with your sheer numbers and the world is counting on you to do your best. Knowing my kids and their friends as I do gives me hope. I feel this hope despite the incredible sadness, violence, disparity and cruelty we see in the world, including the tragic deaths of dozens of people celebrating Bastille Day just today in Nice, France. I hope and pray that your generation’s desire to focus on others—on social responsibility and the world—as well as your pooled intelligence, integrity and talent, will now serve you well. I will end this post with a millennial trend article from the internet that I, being the positive thinker that I am, really liked: “…another trend to watch for in the year ahead—empathy as one of the world’s greatest currencies.” Now wouldn’t that be something to see? 

 Let’s do it!

The Need for Instant Gratification

I’d like to consider myself a relatively patient person. For instance, I have a long history of participating in Black Friday shopping (which should be evidence enough). But seriously, I would like to believe I am pretty patient at least compared to some other people in my generation. For example, I actively use snail mail to send notes to friends and family!

…..but I have discovered maybe I am not as patient as I think. We Millennials (or at the very least me) have a strong desire for instant gratification. As a generation, we grew up with the start of computers and the emergence of cell phones. These things and the immediate access they provided to EVERYTHING fostered our longing for quick answers and fast results. So I suppose my choice to use the self-checkout at the grocery store instead of waiting in a long line (only to watch somebody else painstakingly ring up my items for me...ugg!) stems from a hint of impatience.

However, it hasn’t been until recently that I have realized how my impatience shrouds my sense of confidence in myself, peace of mind and ultimately faith.

This started coming blindingly to light for me about a month ago. I had just completed my last semester of my nursing education at St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minnesota. In order to become an RN, I needed to take my NCLEX (national nursing exam) on July 5. This meant studying for a minimum of 5 hours each day for all of June. Yes, I know what you’re thinking and I thought the same thing: Yuck. And on top of it there are no Kaplan nursing instructors - I was on my own. My first month of freedom from school - my fate was to be chained my books every day for hours on end. Happy Graduation...

Let’s be honest, I just wanted the end result (a good test score), and I wanted it as soon as humanly possible. The rest of the stuff in-between was drudgery. I found myself falling asleep during practice tests, taking about 8 different breaks in a day between studying, watching the clock reveal the painfully slow movement of time. I reached complete disenchantment and disinterest multiple times. But I knew I needed to dig in, I knew I needed to be patient and do the work no matter how painful it was. And although imperfectly, I am somewhat proud to say I did - day after day invest the time. It took every patience muscle I had and then some - but I studied and learned the material.

Fast forward to Monday, July 4, the day before my test. The day went from bad to worse. In the morning nerves set in. By noon, I was texting a friend about how scared I was. Come 5:30 p.m, I was scenario planning, preparing myself to embrace the impending doom of failing the test. 7:00 p,m. brought on all the worst case scenarios playing again and again through my head like a annoying song stuck on repeat.

Yet finally, come nighttime, after imagining all the possible worst case scenarios I could think of, I succumbed to reality. I recognized that in that moment, I had done all I could to prepare. I looked to patience once again, continuing to wait through the night for go time - 8:00 a.m. the next morning - to take my test. This moment of patience, of waiting, was my saving grace. It allowed me the chance to believe in the possibility of success.

The next morning my heart was thumping and all I could think about was getting the test over with, how much I didn’t want to do it, how no matter what I could easily fail. I found myself waiting before the test, in the lounge of the testing center... tapping my foot staring at the wall. Then, deep breath, there it was again - I found my peace in patience.

“Here we go, God. There’s no turning back now.”

I walked into a room of computers and fellow test-takers. I sat down and started clicking away. The 5 hours was rough - up and down. But I sat there, question after question, giving it my all. I still ended up leaving the test center physically sickened by the worst-case-scenario-songs replaying through my head.

My tendency is to expect the worst outcome for myself and in life, almost no matter the circumstance. It’s a strange form of self-denial I think, trying to be prepared. I anticipate the worst - just in case the worst becomes a reality. Strangely, I believe this is closely tied to my need for instant gratification. If you don't give me the answer NOW, that must mean the answer is a bad one: better to have a bad answer than no answer at all, right? I discovered this while I was waited for my test results from the NCLEX. I knew I would receive the test results within 30 hours, which is relatively a pretty quick turnaround. Nevertheless, this day felt even longer than the day BEFORE the test! I was filled with so many strong feelings of denial, anxiety, mistrust and disbelief. There was NO WAY this was going to end well. Finally, again however as I had done throughout the process, I made my way back to patience. I found my own acceptance by telling myself that regardless of what happened, I had to wait for my results, and whatever happened was in God’s hands (and out of MY control).

In the end I passed.

This fact is honestly still difficult for me to believe. All that worst-case scenario planning really stuck. But when I look at all that transpired - I can humbly see how my patience got me to this point. I see now that when I am patient with myself, patient with this life, everything works together and falls into place as it should. That sure doesn't mean there weren't dark moments on this journey. But thankfully in those moments I awkwardly and desperately turned to patience and faith. The night before my test, I did all I knew how to do - I prayed. I asked for God’s help in the process, and waited.

“He replied, ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm” - Matthew 8:26

True patience I believe breeds faith. For see, faith is strongest I believe when we are present to it; focusing on it. And I find my faith is most present in my lif when I give up the fact that I can’t control everything. On the opposite side of the spectrum, impatience stems from wanting to control the outcome and dictate my future. Giving up the fact that I don’t possess some supernatural ability to formulate every outcome in life provides an avenue through which we can discover our sense of peace, comfort, and true faith.

So, as Millennials, while we are naturally a quick results type of generation, I believe we as a generation have a huge opportunity to discover patience. Especially how this patience can cultivate our own self-assurance and faith. Our ability to trust in the bigger picture, in the divine, in God, can and will lead to powerful outcomes for us. It just takes a minute to be present, to embrace our current discomforts, uncertainties, situations. Belief in something greater sometimes brings test results and sometimes it doesn't. But this faith does bring fulfillment, reassurance, peace and eventual gratification.

These are the sort of things you have to, but are very worth waiting for.

Hold the Vision, Trust the Process

I wrote this paragraph below in mid-October 2015:

On July 1^, 2016 I will be driving in car with windows down on a beautiful summers day with John up north for the Fourth of July. Our plane tickets to Europe bought – we will have been accepted to a top MBA school. John and I will have moved out of compass with building managers in place. The last day of my job at Medtronic is approaching – I am leaving with the sense of having made an enormous contribution to the company and people I work with. John has a sense of peace, anticipation and happiness. We have more than enough money and John has an awesome impending job nearby my new school. Abroad adventures all over the world are booked and planned. I have the experience of launching into exactly what we are to be doing next in life.

Did this happen yesterday? Not even close. Yesterday, John and I were frantically sprinting around Minneapolis, fitting Spain visa and passport logistics among precious last visits with friends. It was a good day, but a stressful one with new things to accomplish at every hourly interval.

Still, I will take the day captured above one day late. July 2^nd, 2016 - right now John and I are driving to Madeline Island for the 4^th of July with the windows down on a beautiful summer’s day. We have the wind in our hair and smiles on our faces. Most everything in the above statement has come true or is coming true. We got into our top choice school in Europe, things are wrapping up at Medtronic beautifully, and John and I are excited and happy. We even have building managers for the Compass (our rental property) selected as we prepare for our imminent move to Barcelona, Spain. It’s actually happening!

In this moment I am able to sit back and take immense satisfaction in the fact that what I envisioned, worked for and dreamed of came true today. Some of it effortlessly, some of it through blood, sweat, tears and sacrifice. But here we are – we have arrived. So many days throughout the past year the above statement occurred to me as too good to be true, as a pipe dream, as a fantasy. It is quite surreal to be sitting here - realizing that my reality and dreams have become indistinguishable from one another.

I love Mike Dauphinee’s challenge last week to Millennials “What do you want? Really?” This question puts a thumb on the pulse of an important truth: being able to articulate and, subsequently, willing to fight for what you want is an important and immensely fulfilling part of life. Our parents and leaders have long been telling us the importance of visualizing and believing in oneself. I remember my first grade teacher having our whole class chant Walt Disney’s quote every day: “If you can dream it, you can do it!”

Therefore, having an appetite for sitting with and boldly answering this question is critical for Millennials today. And I believe this so strongly that I have taken it on for myself. Today, I am grateful to be a Millennial who has worked hard to have an answer to the question “what do I want?” and furthermore have turned my answer into a living, breathing reality. My ability to be where I am today can be entirely summarized in the statement below:

Hold the Vision, Trust the Process

I do not know the origins of this statement, but it was shared with me one worry-filled winter’s night this January by a good friend of mine, Karin Nord. I was about to retake the GMAT (business school entrance exam) for the fourth time and was overwhelmingly anxious. In talking with Karin, she said this very thing, “Kelsie, hold the vision, trust the process.” She then went on to encourage me to lean into the unfolding future and be willing to “fail forward” as I pursued my goals.

At the time I found this immensely centering. The statement immediately went up on the white board in our kitchen. However, I also found, day after day, through studying for the test, school applications and other ups and downs, living this statement was much easier said than done. Nevertheless, I charged forward. And here is what I discovered about this statement and how to actually live it out:

HOLDING THE VISION – If knowing what I want is a pencil sketch, then holding the vision is coloring between the lines. For me, holding the vision looks like imagining and re-imagining the future I want with new and brilliant details. Holding the vision also means believing this future was possible, believing that something that seems so good it isn’t just meant to be the stuff of daydreams. Holding the vision also means shedding the insecurities that aren’t in line with my vision – letting go of creeping doubts like “I am not good enough or smart enough to do this,” or “going to a dream school.., that is for other people, not me.” Holding the vision means being willing to articulate my vision out loud, share it with people I trust and care about. Holding my vision also means accepting myself and building, brick by brick, genuine confidence and belief in myself.

TRUSTING THE PROCESS – To me, trusting the process means sometimes letting go of control, of being willing to accept and embrace the journey of getting where I want to go. That also means when I was in the trough of a wave of failure – being willing to have faith that this moment too was meant to happen and a part of the bigger picture. Trusting the process means being willing to ask for and accept help. Trusting the process means being willing to have grace with myself when I come up short. Trusting the process also means knowing that things aren’t always going to go according to plan and being able to stay nimble through the changes. Trusting the process sometimes means doing what needs to get done, or taking a calculated risk. Other times it means sitting back and waiting. Trusting the process means never, ever fully giving in to my fears and fighting them with all the tenacity, spirit and compassion I can muster.

Fellow Millennials, we are at a time in our lives when we have more uncertainty, change and variables than likely at any other phase. You might be graduating college, embarking on marriage, or moving to a new place. Or you might have the job, the home, the girlfriend and are still left restless, looking for something more. Being in the thick of this uncertainty takes something; I wrote a post about this about a month ago. And I think we aren't only called to gracefully navigate this uncertainty, but even more step forward into our lives and intentionally shape the future we want for ourselves and the world.

With this in mind, I leave you with this:

First, “how good can you stand your life to get? What does ‘having it all’ mean to you? What is worth your while more than anything else?”

Second, take that answer, even if it is just a wisp or a fleeting glint at this moment in time, and cling to it. Dwell on it. Entertain it. Color it in until it becomes your vision. 

Third, hold that vision with all your might, and trust the process of making that vision a reality with all your strength. I truly believe a life beyond your wildest imagination will begin to unfold before your eyes. It is up to you — to us — to live a life of our wildest fantasies. Are you willing?